


They Switched Buffy's Brain!

by Gray Cardinal (Gray_Cardinal)



Series: Random Plot Twists (Extended Version) [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Castle, Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV), Scooby Doo Where Are You! (TV 1969), Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010), Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Crossover, Drabble Sequence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-14
Updated: 2011-03-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 00:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gray_Cardinal/pseuds/Gray%20Cardinal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mad-scientific road trip in six drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Lamest Cliché Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the TtH Drabbles LiveJournal community during the 2011 Mod Birthday Challenge, because "six degrees of crossing over" is too much fun to resist.

“Don’t worry, my dear, this won’t hurt a bit.”

The Slayer glared at Ethan Rayne.  “When my muscles unfreeze....”

“This won’t take long.  And when I’m done, they won’t be your muscles.”

“You realize this is the lamest cliché ever.”

“Sometimes the old-school approach is the best.  Besides, you must admit my technique is distinctive.”

“Right.  You just gave a brain-switching amulet to some tourists passing through town, and hope one of them put it on.”

“I was a little more subtle than that.  Now, then...”  Ethan muttered a Latin phrase.

#

Buffy blinked.  And sniffed.  Loudly.  “Ruh-roh!”

“Something wrong, Scoob?”


	2. Braining Cats and Dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Er, Sabrina? I think you got the wrong opposites.”

“I really shouldn’t do this,” the girl said, nervously.

Shaggy groveled melodramatically.  “You just gotta help get Scoob back!”

“Okay, I’ll try.”  She read from her spellbook, one hand holding the amulet, the other resting on the dog’s head.  “ _Mind and body, now opposed, to their opposites transposed!_ ”

The air sparkled for a moment.  Then:

“Er, Sabrina?  I think you got the wrong opposites.”  The voice coming out of the Great Dane was clear, dry, and very much not Scooby-Doo’s.

“Salem?  But if you’re in there...”

“Then I’m a talking cat,” said the black cat sitting next to Sabrina.  “Not.”


	3. Highly Illogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several hours and numerous small appliances later, Data applied electrodes.

Sabrina consulted her grimoire.  “ _Need an expert, SOS, brain transfusion, sure success!_ ”

A uniformed, yellow-skinned man appeared.  “Where am I?”

“Massachusetts.  My cat’s been brain-switched.  Can you fix him?”

“Her.”

Data’s eyebrow rose.  “Female?  In a male body?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Her original body?”

“That’s a problem.”

“Fascinating.  I will require parts.”

Several hours and numerous small appliances later, Data applied electrodes.  “This should not be painful.”

“I’ve heard that before.”

“Activating.”  Energy went _ffzzott!_

“Where am I?  I can’t see!”

“In a temporary storage vessel.  There were insufficient materials to construct an android body.”

“I’m a brain in a jar?”

“Essentially.”


	4. It’s Aliiiive!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Alexis, this Playstation’s possessed!”
> 
> “So? Call an exorcist.”

“Now what?” the Slayer-in-storage demanded.

“I must return to the future,” Data said.  “Come, and a body could be constructed for you.”

“Buffybot 2.0?  No way.  Just FedEx me back to Sunnydale.”

“If you insist.”

FedEx, however, had other plans.

#

“Dad, package for you!”

“I don’t remember—hey, new Playstation!  Custom job, too.”

“I am not a Playstation!”

“Voice interactive?  Cool!”  Castle plugged it into his TV, inserting a Halo disc.

“You can’t—ow!” Castle began racking up kills.  “Okay, enough.”  A blonde warrior appeared onscreen, dealing high-volume death.

“Unfair!  Alexis, this Playstation’s possessed!”

“So?  Call an exorcist.”

“Good idea.”


	5. A Guy for Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Most unusual. Someone has apparently managed to digitize a Slayer.”

The shop owner cocked an eyebrow.  “Castle, you know I don’t deal in electronics.”

“How about evil spirits?”

“I keep telling you, not evil!”

“That’s what they all say.”

“All right,” said Balthazar Blake.  “Now I’m interested.  May I?”

“Be my guest,” said the writer.

Balthazar eyed the Playstation thoughtfully, traced sigils in the air around it with his wand, and studied the results.  “Most unusual.  Someone has apparently managed to digitize a Slayer.”

“Give the man a kewpie doll.”

“Make that a snarky Slayer,” said Castle.

The Playstation bleeped.  “You’re a wizard?”

“I am.”

“Get me out of here!”


	6. High-Energy Climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This will take all our talents.”

New York: a highly evolved Playstation sits in a pentagram’s center, Tesla coils oscillating in the background.

Sunnydale: in another pentagram, a still blonde form lies waiting.

“This will take all our talents,” Balthazar says, speaking to both Dave (standing over the Playstation) and Willow (via speakerphone).

“Ready,” says Willow, swallowing.

“As I’ll ever be,” says Dave.

“All together, then,” says Balthazar.  Latin ensues.

The Playstation glows.  So does the blonde body.  Blue haze slowly rises from the machine, swirls, pulses – and _pops_ , vanishing, reappearing above and sinking into the blonde.

The Slayer awakens.  “That was one bizarre road trip.”


End file.
